On Presidents and Kings

Zimbabweans today elect their new, or old, president. And who cares? They do, right? They want somebody who will make their world a better place. Americans, too, are choosing their new president. And who cares? We do. Why?

We pick our leaders. Or they pick us. And for better or for worse we get to live with them. Shit, England has the queen. They had Margaret Thatcher, too, but she had an expiry date. The queen will just get old and die.

Who runs the country? Who cares? And what is the idea of a country? God forbid it has anything to do with prince Charles. And what is it with hats and feathers in England. God save the queen, but don’t spare the pheasants.

So we live in a world cut up into little squares that we pretend mean something, and then we pick men and women to organize them for us. And sometimes those men or women disagree, on ideological grounds, of course, so we gather up our sticks and stones (or knives and guns) and rush off to do some killing. All because our little patches of earth are important to us.

Remember playing with your friends in kindergarten? How we fought over the toys? Over the space on the jungle gym? Things haven’t changed much, just the toys are bigger and we’re in 24/7 recess. And now we don’t hit little Johnny over the head with a Tonker-Toy. We smart bomb his ass with an F16. But the idea is the same. Oh, how we have grown.

And we delude ourselves. We pretend it’s important.

Why do we genuflect so obsequiously when the man, or woman, we hired to run our country is in our presence? And what is with bowing to a gormless wonder with big ears just because of his family? We are still just kids in kindergarten. That’s all. I think it’s time we grew up. I think it’s time we stopped trying to buddy up to the playground bully because he has the biggest toys. I think it’s time we stopped picking on the new kid just because he wears funny pants.

Christ, and what is the problem with crossing the Colorado River in Arizona, or the Limpopo River in Mapumalanga, because you want to buy a loaf of bread. One day I think we’ll grow up, but until then we could at least let the other kids play with us on the jungle gym.

With love,

Remastigate